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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 18, 2011 14:53:00 GMT -5
Erica had called Jackson to let him know she was stopping by that evening because they had a few things to discuss. She was going to tell him that she was actually pregnant, & she hoped that he would react differently this time. She wanted this to go well, & it scared her that he had been so adamantly against it. Erica really wanted to give this child the life that she knew he or she deserved.
She unbuckled her son from his car seat after parking her car in the driveway & carried him to the front door. It felt strange to have to knock, but she knew under the circumstances, it was appropriate. She could see how excited Colton was with his familiar surroundings, & she began to wonder when this would be their permanent home again.
When Jack answered the door, she gave him a soft smile & handed Colton to him. They hadn't seen each other since Erica moved out, & it broke her heart. She saw how they interacted, though, & she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. This is how she wanted Jack to feel about their unborn child. "Can I come in?" she asked, suddenly snapping out of her thoughts.
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Post by Jackson Montgomery on Jan 19, 2011 0:59:37 GMT -5
"Yes please come in. You you that you don't have to ask." Jack took his son and smiled at him brightly. It had been a while since he had seen Colton and he knew that it was his own fault. He had let his work become his life and he regretted that as soon as he saw his offspring in his wife's arms. "I..I am really glad you called."
"I have a couple of things that I would like to talk to you about as well and I am glad that we are doing it in person rather than on the phone or through a text." Jack lead her to the family room and they both sat down. "So what's on your mind Erica?"
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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 19, 2011 13:46:10 GMT -5
Erica sat down on the couch & looked around. Nothing had changed; their home was still the same. She missed it... she missed being with Bianca everyday, she missed Miranda & Gabby running around past their bedtime, she missed Liza being there when she needed to talk, she missed Stuart showing her how much fun it was going to be to raise her own son, & she missed Jackson. "I... really need to talk to you about what happened last time we spoke," she finally said, looking at her husband.
She took a breath & began, "I know that I told you I wasn't pregnant, but I am. I'm having your baby, & I'm not getting rid of it or giving it up just because that's what you say you want. I see you with Colton, Jack, & I know that's not what you want. You were so hellbent on us having a child together before I was pregnant with Colton, & now you say that you don't want anything to do with this unborn child... I need to know why," she told him honestly, knowing she probably unloaded a lot at once, but he needed to hear the truth.
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Post by Jackson Montgomery on Jan 19, 2011 17:14:13 GMT -5
"I knew you were pregnant." Jack shook his head, standing up with Colton. "You could have just told me the truth and left it at that because I obviously did not change my mind about wanting another baby Erica."
"Yeah I wanted this baby that I have in my arms Erica. I have told you that I don't want another one. I know that it is hard for you to understand because of the connection you have with Colton but I really do not want another baby. And I really do not like that you hid this from me and then lied to me again about it. That just makes the situation worse." Jack knew he was being harsh but he also knew she had to understand that this was not what he wanted. "I never said that I wanted another baby..and you kept insisting that we have one and now you are pregnant..I just don't want this."
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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 19, 2011 20:25:53 GMT -5
Erica felt her heart break again. Why did she think this was going to go differently? "I lied because I wanted you to change your mind, but I see now that it had no effect on you," she said as she looked down at her hands in her lap.
She listened as Jack spoke to her, but she didn't look at him until he finished. "You don't have a choice, Jack. You were just as much a part of making this baby as I was, & I will not let you hold me responsible for getting pregnant. I was just as careful as you were, & I would never just get pregnant to spite you. I knew we weren't in agreement about the subject, so I didn't want to get pregnant because I wanted you to be happy! But we are having a baby, Jack! I can't change that, & neither can you," she told him looking into his eyes, hoping he understood.
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Post by Jackson Montgomery on Jan 19, 2011 23:57:22 GMT -5
"You can change it Erica but I would never ask you to do that and I do not expect you to. All I am saying is that I am not in agreement still. I know there is really not a lot I can do now but you have to know that if I ever do change my mind it is going to take a lot of time. I really did not see this coming and I just do not know how to handle it right now. Our son is not even a year old and here we are, pregnant again."
"I just really wish that this could have happened when we were in agreement or that it would not have happened at all. And before you get all offended, I want you to know that it has nothing to do with the child that is growing inside of you." Jack looked at Erica rationally. "I just do not want another baby."
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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 20, 2011 11:19:58 GMT -5
Erica knew what Jack meant; she was dealing with the same problem. She didn't want to be pregnant so soon, but what was done was done, & the best thing she could do for herself now was to just embrace her pregnancy & this child. She had taken this step already, though, & despite Jackson's negativity, she was thrilled to have another baby. This would more than likely be the last time she got to experience this & she wanted to enjoy every moment. "I know it's a little early, but this is still our child, Jack," she nodded, trying to be understanding.
She perked up a little bit when Jack said that it wasn't the child; it was the pregnancy, but she was still sad. She said, "But why, Jack? I get that you're not ready & it's too soon after Colton, but there has to be a bigger reason. I just want to know why so that we can try & fix this!" Erica told him, wishing he would just be honest with her.
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Post by Jackson Montgomery on Jan 20, 2011 19:48:46 GMT -5
"I know it is still our child Erica! I just want you to get what I am trying to say..it is too soon for me and I am not ready. I really don't know if I ever will be ready and I am sorry." Jack turned his attention to Colton who smiled at him and Jack smiled back feeling so in love with the little boy. He could not imagine loving another baby as much as he loved his son. "I really am sorry."
"Can you just let it go? I am not ready to have another baby. That is it. There is nothing else to talk about because there is nothing that you can do to fix this! You are already pregnant! There is nothing that I can say or do now that is going to make any difference!"
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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 20, 2011 21:02:45 GMT -5
Erica once again watched the interaction between Jackson & Colton. She was so glad that they were seeing each other, but she felt anger inside, too. How could he not want to have another baby? The way they he looked at Colton was beautiful to her, & she knew that he had it in him to share that love with their unborn baby. "I'm sorry, too, because this is happening, Jack. If you're willing to miss out on your own child's life, then I feel extremely sorry for you."
She listened carefully & knew she hit a nerve when he said that he wanted her to let it go. "No, I can't let it go. This is our child & I love him or her so much... & I want to know exactly why you want nothing to do with it's life," she told him honestly, knowing it went deeper than "too soon" or "not agreeing".
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Post by Jackson Montgomery on Jan 20, 2011 23:47:06 GMT -5
"Erica I want you to just stop asking me. I am just not ready to have another baby, okay? I do not want to talk about this anymore." Jack shook his head and turned to get up. "He seems tired. I am going to put him down for a while."
When Jack went upstairs and put Colton in his old crib he had a feeling of sadness wash over him because he missed the way he got to see Colton sleep at night or when he got home from work if he was napping. That and not hearing his laugh was the hardest thing on Colton leaving the house. And Erica..he could not even think about that. He missed everything about her. He returned the the family room and shrugged. "He fell right asleep."
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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 21, 2011 9:40:51 GMT -5
Erica watched Jack walk away & wondered what the big secret was. She had to know why Jack didn't want to have anything to do with this baby & she had to know tonight. She was not giving him any other choice. When he walked back into the room, Erica nodded, replying, "I'm glad... he hasn't been sleeping well lately."
Erica then took advantage of the childless situation & asked, "Jack, I know there is something bigger going on, so why don't you just tell me what's on your mind? I just want to know what's going on?" she wondered out loud, looking up at him gently. "Please?" she nearly begged.
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Post by Jackson Montgomery on Jan 21, 2011 15:59:21 GMT -5
"Fine you want to know what is going on? Fine! I cannot handle you having another baby. Ever. You were so attached to Colton when he was born and I will not be a part of that again. I understand that you love him and that you want to make sure that he is a happy child but consuming yourself with him is not the way to go. You have too many other things in your life right now to just give up on everything else and have another baby."
"I know that you think I was not a good father for the first couple of months Erica, but how could I be? You always had Colton with you and you never trusted me with him by myself. I just do not want to go through that again." Jack shook his head. "I need to deal with this in my own way and you lying to me and trying to force me into it is not good for any of us."
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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 21, 2011 22:55:00 GMT -5
Erica's mouth hung open. "I... I really had no idea, Jack..." she announced, as she subconsciously shook her head. She couldn't believe that Jackson was feeling this way & never let her in on his secret.
"I want to fix this, Jack. I want to work on this with you so that this doesn't happen again. Do you think it's been easy for me to have to solely concentrate on our son? It's something that I've been trying to work on, Jack, & you know that I'm getting better. I... I'm going to do whatever I can to prevent this from happening again," she promised, taking his hand. "Please, please promise me that you're going to try to work on this with me. I'm willing to put everything I have into this if you are," she told him softly.
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Post by Jackson Montgomery on Jan 22, 2011 10:05:56 GMT -5
"It is easy for you Erica because right now it is all that you know how to do. Maybe you miss having time for other things but do I think that it is hard for you to pay attention to Colton? No. I know that you are going to therapy and you can leave him for a little time during the day but you are still obsessed with protecting him and making him happy. I want to protect him and make him happy too, Erica but I can't because you do all of the work for me."
"I..Bianca invited me to go to Paris with her. She told me that she went to see you and that you insisted we needed some space so she thought if you moved back in it would be normal for Colton and Stuart and she wants me to go to Europe with her because she has a bit of business to do." Jack looked at Erica. "And I am going with her."
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Post by Erica Kane Montgomery on Jan 22, 2011 21:56:41 GMT -5
Erica shook her head, not believing his words. "It's not easy, Jack! I love who I used to be. I was so ambitious & I never let anyone push me around, but now I don't worry about anything except Colton. It makes me sad sometimes because there is nothing I can do. Therapy is definitely helping, but it doesn't just fix everything. It's like I became someone else & I don't know how to get Erica Kane back," she admitted to him, shaking her head.
Then she heard his next announcement & let out a slight gasp. "You're... you're going with Bianca to Paris? What about the girls? What about Miranda's school? Bianca's business deal? Your firm?" she asked, before looking up at him carefully. "What about Colton? Did you think of him at all while you were making this decision?" Erica asked, now clearly angry. She wasn't really before because she knew that Jack had a point, but now she was confused & upset. What was she going to do without him? She could barely make it through the past few weeks.
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