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Post by JR Chandler on Sept 22, 2011 18:08:35 GMT -5
JR listened as his mother recounted the story of his birth, knowing now, as a father, how scary that must have been for her, watching her child that fragile and having to fear for his life. Even with all the yelling he had done, his mother was still comforting, loving and supportive, despite his efforts to push her away.
He teared up as she said that she accepted his fear. He didn't want to accept the fear he felt. He didnt want to be afraid of anything. He wanted to be strong, and unstoppable. But he felt so defeated. First the cancer and then losing the company from under his feet. "Every time I think I have something...I lose something else. "
JR hugged his mother tightly as she pulled him in. "I don't want to die" He cried on her shoulder. "I just got you back....I just found someone else I can love....I want to see my son grow up"
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Post by Dix C. Martin on Sept 23, 2011 14:01:14 GMT -5
Hearing his words, Dixie swallowed hard trying to push down all the pain they were causing her. Not wanting to break down. Right now her only job was to be there. Like she should've been those four years J.R grew from a teenager to the grown man sitting beside her.
Even though when he returned her hug, it was like he was a little boy all over again.
"Shhh, sunshine...", she soothed, gently rubbing his back.
"Baby, I know. I know."
Fighting tears, after a few moments she pulled back. And looking J.R square in the face she thumbed his tears away before taking his hands reassuringly.
"Look, you can have..all of those things J.R. You can still beat this cancer and live a healthy life, with the people you love...who love you! I know it looks impossible. I know that you're afraid. But there's still some fight in you..I see it right now in your eyes. That, little spark."
She smiled softly.
"You are as tough as they come, sweetheart. And, to Adam's credit, a lot of that comes from him. He taught you to fight back to keep what's your's, your whole life. Now you gotta, use that to save your life. Focus on treatment, on getting better. And you will!"
Looking at J.R with hope in her eyes Dixie prayed he heard her, and even more that he believed her.
"Just try to have some faith, you know..like I do. You'll have, and you'll live the exact life you want, J.R. I've never doubted it. And right now, neither can you. You can't shut down or, give up. Anymore.
I..I won't stand for it, okay?"
She weakly chuckled, quickly wiping her eyes. Even though her tone was light her words were serious. And she hoped J.R finally got the message.
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Post by JR Chandler on Sept 25, 2011 23:05:44 GMT -5
"I'll focus on the treatment...but I can't give up on my company either. " JR told her firmly. "I won't let Adam do this to me and to my son. One way or another, I'll have a company my son can be a part of, whether its getting Chandler back from Greenlee, or building something from the ground up...I need to make sure AJ's future is secure, whether I'm here or not"
JR hesitated a moment before continuing. He was set on focusing on the business, but he also knew what she said had made a lot of sense, and he didn't want to give up on himself yet either, as scared as he was, and as easy as it would be to make the decision himself to stop fighting before he lost the fight.
"But...I guess it would be easier to get my company back if I had more time" He said, not sure he could believe he could beat this thing for good, but perhaps the treatment could give him extra months with his family. "Mom, Would you...." He started before looking down, a bit embarrassed he was even asking this, a grown man, but feeling afraid he'd chicken out without support. "Would you go with me today? I'm only an hour or so late...I could probably still get someone to set up the chemo drip for me"
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Post by Dix C. Martin on Sept 26, 2011 11:34:56 GMT -5
When J.R said in no uncertain terms that he'd get the company back, Dixie nodded in understanding. The only reason she had any ill feelings towards Chandler was J.R was putting it ahead of dealing with the cancer. When he said he'd focus on the treatment though, she was confident he'd keep his word.
"Yeah, I think so too.", she smiled encouragingly when he said he could use time. That's all she wanted her son to have. Time, with her and Tad and his son and Marissa, and everyone else he loved.
"What, sweetheart?"
She asked, curious that he was looking away from her. But hearing him ask her to accompany him to chemo, tearfully she nodded and gave him another hug.
"Of course I will, baby. Of course I will."
After a few moments, Dixie pulled back and grabbed her bag, before J.R helped her off the couch and to her feet.
"Well thank you very much!", she smiled.
Standing up, she rolled her eyes when her knee made a 'crick' sound. It didn't hurt but happened sometimes when she sat too long.
"Oooh, man. Old bones.", she sighed, rolling her eyes.
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Post by JR Chandler on Oct 20, 2011 17:15:39 GMT -5
JR hadn't really doubted that his mother would agree to his request to accompany him to treatment, however it still felt like a relief when she said she would and gave him a hug. He didn't want to be alone. His father made him feel alone pulling the company away. And the cancer made him feel alone. "Thanks Mom..." He whispered softly as they hugged. He had needed a mother so many times over the years that she had been gone, but now he had her.
JR smirked as he heard the cricking of her knee as he helped her up. "You are getting up there...I mean you are a Grandma" JR lightly teased her, glad to have the tension broken for even a moment. "But you are the hottest one I know" He told her, kissing her cheek as he put his arm around her heading towards the door.
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Post by Dix C. Martin on Oct 22, 2011 1:25:17 GMT -5
"Yes and proud of it.", Dixie grinned, before she heard J.R's compliment and laughed out loud, shaking her head in disbelief.
"You are something, you know that?"
Heading out the office door they went to the elevator and then out to the lot before hopping into her car. She remembered where the clinic was from a meeting she and Tad attended with J.R, not long after he was diagnosed. And knew it would take a few minutes before getting there.
Pulling out of the lot comfortable quiet set in before she broke it.
"So uh, you told me once Marissa took you to one of your treatments, right?", she asked, getting a nod.
"I just was curious. I..I've been thinking about her lately. I know, at the Yacht Club the tension between you and I..there wasn't any ripple effect from that on her was there? I mean are things still, calm and content between the two of you?", asked Dixie nervously as she drove.
She cared for Marissa a lot and didn't want to be the source of any tension between her and J.R. Not when she seemed to be so good for him.
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Post by JR Chandler on Oct 30, 2011 20:49:07 GMT -5
JR felt his nerves rising again as soon as he entered the car. Everytime he went in for a treatment, or an appointment he felt so helpless, and as if he had no control over anything. He hated that feeling, being that vulnerable, but it seemed to be inevitable. He was grateful that his mother brought up a happier topic. Marissa was definitely a bright spot in his life.
"Yeah, she's actually gone with me a couple times" JR told her. "Things are still going okay...surprisingly my temper didn't seem to scare her off, maybe just because she wasn't on the receiving end..." He said lightly, looking down, knowing it often got the best of him. "Things are going great actually...I don't think I've done enough for her, given all the times she's been there for me, to cheer me up, or even just there for support...I've been so wrapped up in everything else lately, I dont think I've shown her what she means to me..."
JR was quiet for a moment as he debated whether or not to tell his mother something he hadn't told anyone yet. He wondered what she'd think of it, and if she'd think he was making a mistake. "You like Marissa don't you?" He asked her, wondering how she felt about the woman in his life. "I've been thinking a lot lately about my future with her...however long I might have...I think I want to ask her to marry me" JR told his mom, looking over to her. "I'm worried she'll say yes out of pity...or just because she thinks she'll be granting a dying man's wish...I think her heart's too big to say no even if its not what she wants...am I crazy?"
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Post by Dix C. Martin on Oct 31, 2011 0:11:03 GMT -5
When J.R said things were fine between him and Marissa, Dixie smiled and breathed a small sigh of relief. So far Marissa seemed like one of the few people J.R trusted that hadn't done a thing to hurt him. And she knew he needed a presence like that so badly, especially now.
Hearing his question, it was like he read her mind.
"Well as a matter of fact, I do. I like Marissa a lot, from what I know and have seen of her. She seems good for you.", she answered before J.R said two words that made any mother's heart skip an unhealthy number of beats. Future, wedding?!
"Crazy for springing this on me as I'm driving a motor vehicle, yes!", laughing Dixie turned to face him, her eyes even smiling at him.
"But aside from that, oh..baby. If Marissa loves you as much as you do her, when you ask there's no way she's gonna marry you for anything but love. She doesn't seem like that type, J.R. She cares about you. And take it from me, if anyone, anything..can get you through all your facing it'll be her and the love you have for eachother. I mean, look at me and Tad. We've saved eachother more times than I can count. And above all that, J.R I just want you to be happy, to have something to latch onto and be happy about. As far as I know an engagement and a wedding fits that pretty well!", she grinned.
"So long as it's up to my standards that is..otherwise nobody is gonna be happy.", she teased.
"Remember I've got seven ceremonies and an especially memorable proposal under my belt..just think of that as training for helping plan this."
As she drove Dixie couldn't help already getting excited over this. Marissa had been in her good graces for a long time now and more than anything, she just wanted to see J.R have something positive to keep him grounded and focused on getting better. And this could very well be it if all went according to plan.
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Post by JR Chandler on Dec 23, 2011 11:35:06 GMT -5
JR chuckled lightly as his mother mentioned how he shouldn't have sprung this on her while she was driving. "Sorry" he added sheepishly. "I know that she does love me...but if the situation weren't how it is, I don't know if she'd even consider it this soon into the relationship. She's got her whole future ahead of her...but time seems too precious to wait....And AJ just adores her. " JR said rambling a little nervously as he thought more about proposing to her.
JR nodded as Dixie mentioned how she and Tad had saved each other so many times in the past. "You two have something the rest of us only dream about...but maybe she can save me" JR said with a shrug. " Maybe since Tad's gotten in a little practice with the ceremonies he'd be willing to do it, and AJ could be my best man. I'm sure Marissa would love your input on ideas too..." He said then stopped himself and gave a sigh. "If she even says yes"
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Post by Dix C. Martin on Dec 26, 2011 16:58:32 GMT -5
"It's okay..it is good news after all."
Dixie absolved, giving J.R a smile before he started rambling a bit about Marissa, their future. She could tell he was nervous about it and it was understandable, but unnecessary given the glowing way Marissa spoke of him. She beamed when he mentioned her and Tad, and even more when he said Tad could officiate and A.J could be the best man, but sighed and shook her head at his last comment.
"Honey I can't speak for Marissa and, I don't know for sure what she'll say but, I know she's stuck by you for a long time now in spite of all the drama you've been up against. You two have been through a lot and, I think it's brought you closer. Also, I know you're not one to give your heart away easily. It takes a lot for you to trust and, the fact she's drawn that, plus a proposal out of you? It says a lot, about her and about what the two of you have. And, for what it's worth I have a good feeling about things."
Dixie smiled encouragingly, rubbing J.R's shoulder a bit. She wanted him as calm as possible before his appointment and, just wanted him to know she was there.
Soon they pulled into the lot and the clinic, and after she parked she turned to him, wanting to check how he was.
"We'll go in whenever you're ready, alright? I got all the time in the world."
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Post by JR Chandler on Jan 17, 2012 18:04:59 GMT -5
JR nodded as Dixie spoke about Marissa and how strongly she felt for JR and how close the two of them had become. He laughed a little as she mentioned that she drew a proposal out of JR which said a lot about Marissa. "Either that or the chemo's mushed my brain a little" He joked. "But maybe its not fair to her, to tie her down to this even more"
JR's mind and eyes drifted as they pulled into the clinic's parking lot. His heart rate was already speeding up. Even though he knew exactly what to expect, it was still hard to go through with it, knowing what he'd be feeling like after it was over, and not even knowing if it would help.
"I'm already late, so I guess a few more minutes doesnt matter" He told her, with a sigh. He wanted to be stronger than this, he wanted to be a man and just deal with it. But the cancer made him feel so weak. "How are you and Tad doing?" He asked, trying to get his mind off of where he was before he went in.
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Post by Dix C. Martin on Jan 18, 2012 1:28:35 GMT -5
Dixie could practically feel J.R tense up the second she pulled into the lot, which was why she'd parked and told him they could go in on his terms. At least offer him a bit of control over things where she could, knowing he needed it.
When he asked about her and Tad, like always a small smile formed on Dixie's face and a little blush filled her cheeks, try as she might to hide it.
"Good. Really good.", she said with confidence.
"Everything's been pretty business as usual you know? Just, dealing with work and the kids. We tried taking a little time just for ourselves the other night. Tad had this perfect evening planned but, it all came crashing down around us quicker than we could say. He was so broken up about things being ruined and I felt terrible for him. But, I was just happy to be out and about with him that none of the bad stuff really phased me. I even wound up, prancing around in the rainstorm that had ruined our picnic. Which of course left Thaddeus with no choice but to follow me and get soaked to the skin himself. It was, wonderful.", she said, slightly dreamily til she recalled what happened after.
"At least til, we woke up the next morning sneezing, coughing, aching and chilled, and were lectured by none other than Dr. Kathy Martin." Smiling at the memory of her little girl armed with a stethoscope, Dixie chuckled.
"I just happened to mention it to Joe at the hospital the other day..the way he reacted I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a stethoscope with her name engraved on it by now."
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